In a world flooded with media of MMA on TV every night, internet memes like Master Ken and women kneeing men in padded suits in the groin, it's hard to sift out the real from the fake in the world of self-defence. Spectacular movie moves to handle every day attacks and situations further cloud the options of the uninitiated when it comes to defending oneself. So how do you do it?

Firstly, if it works, it's self-defence! While not always the most efficient technique, if it serves the purpose of escaping a potentially harmful situation, then you have successfully defended yourself. It doesn't have to be fancy, easy or pretty, it just has to give you enough of an opening to get away. Commitment to whatever technique or approach you employ is critical. Half-heartedly doing even a proper technique can leave you half-way out of the situation, which to quote Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid, you end up "squish, just like grape".

Situational awareness and avoidance are self-defence. Turning your music down, or looking up from your phone to observe your surroundings and any potentially escalating situation is defending yourself. Having your keys in your hand as you approach your home or car door at night is self-defence. Walking on the more well-lit side of the street to be able to see your surroundings is self-defence. Seeing trouble emerging and not putting yourself in harms way is by far the safest and best way of not getting hurt. While not always possible, using your eyes and ears to see a potentially dangerous place, person or situation before it comes to a head is self-defence.

If a situation that you cannot avoid does arise, understand that the longer you engage in a conflict with an opponent, the higher the chances are that you will get hurt. Even a seasoned martial artist with knockout power will not be able to drop every single opponent with one blow. If you trade shots with your attacker, sooner or later you are just as likely to get hurt (if not more so, given that an aggressor is generally more willing to do harm and not thinking rationally). The key principle in self-defence is creating an opportunity to remove yourself from the situation. Sometimes that means a counter-attack or taking your attacker to the ground, but often neither are necessary. An assailant is in an irrational state and expecting the person they attack to react like a victim, in this case, a simple escape may be enough to end the conflict as they are not expecting anything other than a victim mentality.

Contrary to TV and popular belief, a counter-attack should be a last resort. Thankfully, it is not within normal human nature to deliver a devastating blow to another living being. What this means in a self-defence situation, is that very rarely is a blow delivered in either retaliation or as a counter-attack going to be devastating enough to disable an attacker. As such, most counter attacks will only serve to escalate the conflict and perhaps make your opponent more dangerous. A good example of this is the proverbial knee to the groin - it causes pain, but in no way is it fully disabling and it delivers a shot of adrenalin to the recipient. That shot of adrenalin does the opposite of the desired effect, it will make an aggressive person angrier and possibly more aggressive, which is bad news if you are trying to get away.

Weapons for self-defence are not a good idea. For one, basing your ability to defend yourself on the availability of a weapon leaves you vulnerable whenever you do not have it in your possession (learning to use a sword is great if you happen to be attacked on your way home from training and have it, but you cannot likely take it to the office or to a concert). Many weapons have limits on their effectiveness, if you are using pepper-spray and the wind is blowing the wrong direction, you are just as likely to be disabled as your attacker. Statistically in self defence situations, your weapon is far more likely to be used against you than being used effectively against your attacker (this comes back to the willingness to seriously injure).

So if I shouldn't hit back, what should I do? The reality of self-defence is finding a way (any way) to escape the situation with as minimal harm to yourself as possible. Learning and training a basic repertoire of techniques will condition reflex-like reactions that will allow you to get away from a dangerous situation you were unable to avoid. In a potentially life or death situation, by the time you think of what to do, it is too late. Training helps you to learn not only efficient and effective techniques, but also hones your instincts to handle situations that you may not have specifically practiced. With advanced students, training in freestyle situations where the attack is unknown and the attacker can adjust based on the reaction will help to further develop an understanding of when an escape is enough or when a counter-attack, hold or take-down are needed.

So keep your head up, be aware of your surroundings, or perhaps drop in for a self-defence class or many.

I fully agree with Jesse's post. I would add that any counter-attack will tend to escalate a confrontation, making it even more difficult to achieve a satisfactory resolution. If your objective truly is to defend yourself you need to learn how to neutralize an attack and create an opportunity for escape.